Other People’s Children
I don’t have children. People often offer a sad face when I respond with a swift NO! when they ask the relevant question. Sad face my ass! Me + Kids = Huge therapy bills and possible jail time for both parties. Can’t even imagine the horror stories my children would tell. Now I truly admire those who do choose to parent and parent well but me, “Yikes”
But that does not mean I do not enjoy other people’s children –not all of course and probably more in theory then in reality but I can look on long distance and say, ‘well isn’t that interesting’ or ‘what the F?’ this came up recently when I read a FB post on mum corsages for homecoming. Really? There are starving people in the world, we are threatening Syria, and our schools are failing - and we are ‘concerned’ about mum corsages? Really?
So you can see I am an opinionated bystander but I don’t usually mentioned it to the parent involved as who am I? Childless, bitter old crone! I can say that, as I know it’s farthest from the truth but that is how many Republican detractors would describe me. But sometimes, other people’s kids offer moments of why the Fx*k would anyone want to do that? Although that happens often, Diane Nyad’s recent ‘accomplishment’ would be one such instance but when it happens closer to home I can ponder these issues in situa.
* Rabbit Stick Idaho -
Pay $250 a day to live in a teepee and learn ancient living skills? Wow! Really? No Starbucks, no Wi-Fi, no bamboo sheets – Good on them. If the end of the world happens in my lifetime, I will understand the insanity but meanwhile I’ll be over here googling.
* Tough Mudder
Pay to run a muddy difficult obstacle course with a whole group of competitive others? Maybe not as bad as Rabbit Stick, shorter, quicker eject option But. I’ll be over here in yoga class.
* Teaching children to Hunt
Shoot things? Really? Killing animals and being so proud of it that you Instagram and FB the dead carcass? What can I say? Too much for anyone to listen.
I’ll be sitting over here pointing fingers….not naming names, nope your craziness is safe with me.