Pursing a Youthful Glow
“Let’s just get this out of the way, I burned my face off.”
That’s how I’ve been opening face-to-face encounters for the last four days. First off, I did willingly submit to laser burns and I know people are looking at my face thinking, “what the hell?” Some people feel comfortable politely asking but most strangers wouldn’t dare. It is telling that even the man who bags the groceries at the Coral Gables chi chi grocery store identified my redden face the result of a chemical peel and encouraged my pursuit of non plastic surgery options. He bags groceries, are chemical peels that common? Wow!! Just proves my rule – you never know what people know.
Yes, I underwent something called a CO2 Laser Treatment. How I understand it is that a laser is used to treatment sun damage and minor wrinkles. I won it at a charity raffle. So yes, I actively pursued the option to burn my face off. My inside cringes when I say that remembering all those women who truly do have their face burned off via acid thrown in their face so please understand I say it only tongue in cheek.
But it is a humorous that I pursued this dramatic facial burning, I do not deny that I’m vain. Yes, I look in the mirror and think, “look at that sun damage.” I wanted to do something about it but it’s expensive and painful and expensive but I won it so I couldn’t resist. Yikes! And they are stingy with the Valium allowing it only during the procedure. Then they send you home to scream and suffer with ice and Advil – what good is that? The first 24 was bad, no sleep and ice pack face but it’s better today, five days out, now I look like a bit like pepperoni pizza, white with brown/red curly patches.
The take home advice was a mix of white horror cream to mix with a big wad of petroleum jelly harkening back to high school makeup removal days. Age pays in product wisdom as according to Wikipedia:
Petroleum jelly's effectiveness in accelerating wound healing stems from its sealing effect on cuts and burns, which inhibits germs from getting into the wound and keeps the injured area supple by preventing the skin's moisture from evaporating.
But can’t we do better then that? The source of PJ, as we all know, is oilrigs and besides I know of no way to get petroleum jelly out of my hair. So a few drops of lavender, a tablespoon of vitamin e and loads of aloe are my cure de jour. I hope this is worth it. As for now, I’m still seeing those pesky sun freckles poking their little brown spots right back out again – they have been there a very, very long time.